Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Wigs - the talk lately

(article for charedi women and men)
Wigs really are the big talk lately, at least in Israel. Women who want to justify wearing wigs use quotes, their rabbanim and all sorts of reasons to justify wearing wigs. Women who wear wigs cause their husbands (foolishly) want them to, can say only that. Then, the men are the ones with all sorts of reasons to back their claims.
I have a question for those women and men: When was the last time you listened to your heart? Although in this generation it is hard to hear our hearts - people rationalize so well, everyone else does it, etc. but, if you would go into a room for one hour, 2, how ever long it takes, block out all the surrounding voices, what does your heart tell you?

How about children? They have some innocence left in them, before they get too old, so let's ask them. I did. I approached a 6 year old whose mother wears a wig, a prominent woman in the neighborhood. I asked her, "What do you think is more modest? a wig or a tichel?" She didn't even think. "A tichel," she said. Just like that. Why is this amazing? Because children usually vouch for whatever their sacred parents do and think. I used to. But when it comes to emes (truth), real emes, those who seek emes have no doubts.
I used to wear pretty black wigs. Even when they were relatively short, I knew I looked nice in them. That's why I wore them. Did it occur to me that I could be making men think about me? I didn't really allow myself to think about it. I didn't want to believe it. I preferred to listen to most women I knew who said, 'Rabbanim allow wigs, they are so common, minhag hamakom, etc. '
Until I found out that men really were looking. What a horrible feeling that was.
Well, I'm not going to be the cause of any man not doing proper avodas Hashem. I made the decision. That's that. The fact is, the poskim do prefer tichels. They are afraid to lose Jews altogether in this generation. So they give heterim with tznius conditions (which most women don't follow anyway - not real hair, skin color parts, long, etc.) I have only seen elderly women wearing tznius wigs that look 'wiggy' as my cousin calls it.
Interesting - the men that want their wives wearing wigs, would not want them in tznius, short, synthetic wigs. They want them pretty. Same goes for the women - most of the women that wear wigs.
But in this generation, in thime preceding yemos HaMashiach, Hashem wants us to show him our messirus nefesh. That's why the Rabbis don't force us to serve Hashem properly. Hashem wants to know who really wants to follow the Torah properly and who really wants the Geula.
Yes, the rabbis have heters. But why do we have to force them to give these heters? We will never gain ahavas Yisrael, if we don't start caring about each other. I don't want other women causing my husband michshols, do you? The fact is that when women leave the house wearing straight clothes, tight or not, heels, wigs and makeup, they are basically showing their disregard for other Jews. It's the brutal truth. Don't we all know about what it says about the dor preceding Moshiach? Don't our husbands know? So why are we pretending not to know? Why don't we fight and say, "no! I don't want those nevuos (prophecies) to be true! Let's keep this generation holy, as it was 200 years ago, before women uncovered their hair and gave in to the goyim. Now we are allowed to cover our hair and look Jewish - so why are we and our husbands insisting we go out looking like wannabe models? Why?!

Let's wake up, friends and wake each other up. Gently, through friendly conversation, not coercion. I will daven for everyone that wakes up and does this. You can send me your names. I would be happy if You would daven for me to succeed as well. Calanitte Ziva bas Davida Leah.

Here's a part of what the autistics said recently about wigs:

Q. Why do you speak so strongly against wigs? Righteous women have been wearing them for generations?

Daniel: Throughout history, the snake – which is the evil inclination, the sitra achra – comes up with all sorts of ways of bringing down Am Yisrael [“Man’s inclination renews itself every day upon him” Gemara Kidushin 30]. A few hundred years ago it instated the wig into the world which is a true creation of the Evil Inclination.

Obviously the wig of today is not the wig of old times. Due to the decrees given to the Jews in Europe, forbidding women to cover their hear in the street with tichels, the righteous women made themselves wigs out of horse tails, rope, or straws [so as not to walk around without their hair covered]. The hair clearly did not look real yet even then great tzaddikim were very much against it.

In addition, most of the women in those areas of Europe simply stopped covering their hair altogether and those who wore the wigs were considered righteous.

But the wigs of today, according to all halachic opinions are absolutely forbidden [to hear the original psak given on wigs call (972) 03 6711113/2] because they are pretty and attract attention.

Not just attractive; there are many well known charedi women who are very particular about the way they look and they take extra care to try and look like models, the way they dress, etc. and they want to be noticed. Today, a woman who dresses this way, wearing a wig that looks like real hair – sometimes even other charedim get mixed up and are not really sure if her hair is covered or not.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for the post.
Am wearing only tichels and hats now--in America this is not easy. People look at me like I am from Mars, or that I am embarrasing them, or that I must have suddenly discovered Sephardic yichus.
I feel this is right, proper and a true expression of tznius. I am so happy to do this. I daven that my actions should please H-shem (and my husband).

True Simcha said...

Wow, yishar koach! I know how you feel. I have been wearing a shawl since Rosh Hashanah, and in my neighborhood this is still a foreign concept. Even some of my old acquaintances act differently towards me now, and I have sadly accepted the reality. But I do it happily because I know how much simcha I am bringing Hashem (and yes, my husband too!) and that is worth everything. In any case a day will come in the near future, where other Jews will follow along and appreciate our bravery and sacrifice for Hashem's name. May Hashem grant you all the brachos and may He save you and your family and bring you to Eretz Yisrael in time for the Moshiach, by merit of your actions! Bezchut nashim tzidkaniot nigalu Am Yisrael.