November 08

Thursd. November 20, 2008
I was wondering why the autistics had been quiet lately and thought that perhaps it was due to the fact that slowly slowly more and more Rabbis are telling people that we seem to finally be in the time of the Geula, Beezras Hashem. Then I got a call that they gave a message. I remembered that quite a few tzaddikim, such as my Rebbe, Rebbe Nachman, a"h, said that if the great rabbis say Moshiach will come in a certain year, he won't come that year. He will come at a time when people don't expect it and when the generation is so low that they force Hashem to send Moshiach. Rebbe Nachman also said that in the time of the Geula, there will be such a lack of emunah that true believers will be very scattered (around the world). And really, this is the last chance we have to show Hashem our love and emunah in Him and His torah. Therefore, the gedolim are not saying much. If we knew 100% that He is coming, we may just do teshuva to save our necks and not because that is why we were put here in this world or kal vachomer out of love for Hashem. Hashem wants to first give us the chance to receive merits by searching for Him out of Emes. then, when all is clear, who, what and why, then we will all be forced to do teshuva so that Am Yisrael can all at least merit the days of Moshiach.

Wednesday, 5th November, 7th of Cheshvan 2008
I learned something very important over the past month: that we have no clue about anything. There is a very big problem with the kiruv people who do it through facts; i.e. through what is happening in the world, etc.
Hashem has shown us time and again that the only way for us to complete our tikkun in the world, and come close to Him and bring others close to Him is purely through innocent faith. Every time we base our words on 'facts' or on what's happening with and in the world, we are actually liable to push people farther away from Hashem, G-d forbid, because the sitra achra (Evil One) will always have a good answer. Don't believe me? Just ask the philosophers and scientists. Hashem wants us to remember that the only thing we can rely upon is His Torah and our faith in Him. We really have no idea what He intends on doing next and how can we pretend to know? We are tiny little nothings compared to Him.
Sure, we read the prophecies and have a tiny bit of an idea of what may happen, but "tiny bit" is all. I don't use 'the world' as proof for Hashem's sovereignty and Omnipotence anymore. Hashem Elokeinu Hashem echad. Because He told us so. That's that. No questions. There is no better 'good' than Hashem and how He rules the world. Anyone out there think they can do a better job? Who are they kidding? Themselves more than us. We don't need physical proof. If we do, we are in total denial and our hearts are sealed shut.

Thursday, rosh chodesh Cheshvan, 2008
The yetzer hara is burning within us more than ever before, particularly because he knows he is on the verge of death, G-d willing. So now, while there are financial troubles and all sorts of personal stressful things going on in our lives, davka now is the time we need to be extra careful about watching our anger and our tongues. We are being given an abundance of nissyonos now and although it is very hard and tiring, if we keep reminding ourselves of how much closer it brings us to Hashem and how much we'll wish for these troubles in the days of Moshiach when we will have no more nissyonos, no more mitzvos or suffering. It is very hard, but every day, I lift myself up and remember that Rebbe Nachman said, "if you believe you can ruin, believe you can rectify." I just do teshiuva, apologize to all those I hurt or took my stress out on and continue. Now is not the time to give up. We're so close, be'ezras Hashem. We can smell the Geula already. Just ignore the stench of the almost corpse yetzer hara and focus on the sweet smells of the upcoming Redemption, may it be speedy in our days, amen.