I learned something very interesting, something I can't figure out how I never knew until now. Or perhaps I knew but never grasped its meaning.
I overheard someone telling their spouse that they will never be able to measure up to their good middos. One spouse is very quiet and gentle, a - never - gets - angry kind of person and the other one is very lively, feisty, loses their temper often, outspoken and outgoing. The quiet one wanted to cheer-up the feisty one and said, "don't foget something very important. I was born with these quiet middos. I don't have to fight to have them. They come naturally. I was raised with very loving parents. I didn't have bad examples. You were the opposite. You grew up with angry, criticizing parents. You have to fight every day not to duplicate their middos. You have a quick temper but the torment you experience every time you get angry, the guilt you feel and the agony you go through every time you try to calm yourself before blowing up - that is what Hashem wants! He wants the constant fight. Rebbe Nachman said about himself that he had all the bad middos in the world first. He fought and fought until he overcame them. As did other tzaddikim. But it takes time to overcome them."
So to those of us that have the constant daily battle of fighting our bad habits, our bad middos, our yetzer hara - you're doing great! Pat yourself on the back because the yetzer hara wants you to be depressed and to hate yourself and give up the fight. BUT HASHEM DOESN'T! HE WANTS YOU TO FIGHT AND FIGHT AND FIGHT TILL YOU DROP. literally. Life is hard and very trying. But the reward at the end is worth all the suffering and fighting and more. Have emuna. Read my post about emunah for more chizuk.
Have a gut chodesh!