I did start the blog in order to arouse Jews to ahavas Hashem and share with them what i learned about the upcoming Geula out of total love for all of Am Yisrael. [[Love is not letting you hear whatever you want to hear. Love is telling you the truth in hopes of saving you from hardships that the prophets and chazal tell us that those that are not fully with Hashem will have to go through before Moshiach comes in order to wake them up and return them to Abba in Shamayim. ]]
I have been datil leumi, almost secular, left wing, right wing, litvish, chassidish, you name it. I believe Hashem put me through all the 'interesting' things i went through in life to give me a 'taste' of what people go through in their lives. I've been, there, I understand. All I know is that I was never content until I threw away the olam hazeh (modernism, modern thought,etc.) and its hashpa'as and decided to devote my life to the true Yiddish masores, to the Torah and in short, to our Creator.
I spent my life studying facts, opinions, lifestyles and people's behavior and the only emes that exists is in following the Torah properly.
When I was secular - everything was wrong. No middos (ok, a bit here and there), ga'ava and ta'ava - that was the life style I witnessed.
When I was modern orthodox - I was simply confused. Well, you have to keep shabbos and kosher, but you can talk to boys and have male friends, you can wear short sleeves and maybe even pants, you can show parts of your hair, it's ok that men and woman peek at each other through or over the mechitza and sing in harmony together - where in the world did the shulchan aruch go??? I felt little or no kedusha there!
yes, as a litvisher although was better, my life lacked a lot of simcha and pashtus and a close and special relationship with Tate.
Even when i first became chassidish I was still somewhat confused because the chassidim of today did not appear to me to be the chassidim of 200 years ago. And that is what I was striving for.
Then I discovered that the ONLY way to achieve what I perceive (ok?) to be the emes, is to completely return to the Yiddishe masores, shawl, redid, tznius, kedusha and all, and B"H I am even zocheh to a husband who is very careful about shemiras eynaim.
Too spiritual for y'all? Too boring? To square and old fashioned?
then this blog is not for you.